Because you are a woman

As a part of the Diversity Network at my workplace, we hosted a talented and strong woman leader in our Coffee Corner session which is a candid informal conversation over coffee where people from junior levels get to meet and interact with a senior leader/leaders.

The conversations range across diverse topics like career progression, networking at the workplace, mobility, dealing with difficult bosses and much more. As a woman who is passionate about her career and knowing the challenges of surviving and thriving in a male bastion, it always excites me to meet strong female leaders and hear their success stories.

This woman leader Fiona who was visiting us from London has a very interesting career history,  An illustrious career spanning 17 years in the banking industry, a Chartered Accountant by qualification, a bold woman who is a multitasker, planner and works with precision – I had heard from others that she is adept at drafting policy documents.

She had taken a 6 year career break to raise her kids – a boy and girl aged 9 and 7. Once they grew up, she re joined the workforce, its been a year that she has re started her career.

I ws eager to know if she faced any hurdles, were people as accepting, did she have to compromise and was she penalised for her break? The answer was a welcome change. She told us that her break in no way stood as a deterrent- the fact that she has solid work credentials and the city she resides in is London- this did make a difference. She also shared that when she became a mom for the first time, she resumed work and continued working till she had her second child. People were most cooperative and she did not face any issues where she was sidelined or made to feel guilty for not doing enough at work. It was her personal decision to quit as she felt she needed more time with her kids.

This story made me smile- its like that tiny ray of hope that you have when you see a speck of sunlight filter through the dark room- you know there is light, however small.

Every other day, I read, write, see, hear about the struggles some have to endure at the workplace- this story told me something new- it had a positive note to it.

I heard another real life story a few days back – one that I had to share. I was in Zurich on a short term assignment and while I always say this – about how proud and empowered I feel working with this organisation which offered me this opportunity , without any hesitation about me being a mom (as long as I was comfortable, they were happy to have me on board) I met up with a few Indian families for Diwali through a blogger friend and I was happy not to be spending the festival of lights holed up alone in my apartment in a foreign country.

I met a lady called A whom I took a liking to- she has been here for 4 years as her hubby, an IT guy working with one of the Indian software companies is here on a project. She told me she was working in India in a Operations role and she loved her job. But her hubby moved here and she accompanied him. For 2 years she was on a dependant visa which prohibited her from working. Once she got the requisite visa, finding a job was a challenge. She was already out of work for 2 years. Besides , in Switzerland preference is first given to Swiss nationals and then those who belong to EU (European Union). Thirdly , German language knowledge is a must as the role in Operations requires interaction with local people. She joined a German class and kept giving interviews but only found rejection.

Was this because she was an outsider?

Was this because she was a non German speaking person?

Or was this because she was a woman?

Probably a combination of all- it would be difficult for me to talk about the proportion of contribution of each factor.

She did mention that the other guys in her own batch managed to secure jobs, she told me about misogyny thats prevalent here, a subtle form which no one talks about, but it exists.

I could see that longing in her eyes, that smile which disguised the pain and I knew here was a woman who wanted that slice of independence.

2 stories – one of a mother who had fabulous credentials, took a career break for 6 years and came back with a bang- the entire system supported her.

The other story of a mid level married woman employee who took a forced break ( as the career of a man you see is far more important and the woman must follow her man, how dare she think otherwise), its 4 years and she ‘s still hoping that the rays of the sun will shine one day.

I do hope that the sun shines bright and fills her life with its warmth.

These incidents make me happy and sad- I am filled with  a sense of gratitude for the good people around who are here to make a difference I am also filled with angst and I wonder what if the tables are turned- what if it was the woman who got this golden opportunity abroad?  Would the man leave his job and follow her? Or would she give it up as the male ego and society triumphs again?

I do not want any privileges because I am a woman but nor do I want to be treated unfairly because I am a woman.

Hold no biases against me.

I have dreams as well, dreams not for the husband, or kid

Dreams for myself.

Dreams which I want to see turn into reality.

But they tell me, don’t dream too big

Because you are a woman.


Linking with Corinne for #MondayMusings





24 thoughts on “Because you are a woman

  1. Thought provoking indeed Akshata.. both stories are true and a representation of society. While some women do get back with a bang, others have to wait and many times compromise. It’s a competitive world where the person who brings more time and is ready to give up his life for the organization is honored.

    At the same time, all is not lost since the past credentials and network do help. It may take time but one has to be strong enough to endure that period of rejections.

    Somehow the corporate culture needs more cognizance of the fact that a woman returning from break brings more patience, perseverance as well as grit to make it happen and hence is definitely worth welcoming back.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for writing in Anjali. I agree that corporate culture needs to improve and organisations certainly have mi h more to do on gender diversity than merely looking at it as s check box to be ticked. I also feel family support goes s long way in propelling a woman’s career. Very often that’s what most women fall short of


  2. I feel some women are just lucky..I personally faced no challenge in my office after I re-joined after almost 5 years. However, my family was unsupportive, especially my MIL. My office allowed me to work from home and gave me flexi-hours and cooperated in every way.
    I do remember one incident.once I was rejected by another company because I was pregnant at that time. So, it depends a lot on the organisation. This is a very insightful post.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. True luck does matter. And I feel family support goes a long way in making or breaking a woman’s career. As you rightly sighted your own example. It was nice to see your posts in Prague so glad you could get back and I am sure with a bang!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post Akshata! Yes, it is difficult to re enter workforce after a hiatus but there are a host of factors which are into play. Some walk back in easily as if they never left while some struggle. Yes, women are the first ones to compromise on their career when a decision has to be taken but I think if you want to do something then you have to take a stand. Rest, to each his own.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. As you said two women with two different stories. While you may think that the follow her man woman was sacrificing her career because her job was less important , it may well be that his was the better paying one ?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ve encountered very little gender discrimination at work, but I think some of that is due to my refusal to give it space to flourish. It’s there, if you let it be, and especially if some part of you believes it’s the natural order of things. The few I’ve encountered who would make it so, well, I’ve looked at THEM like the aberrations they are. Others have been supportive.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s the attitude to have Holly! But often due to social conditioning and being fed the patriarchal norms since childhood women often resign to things without even raising their voice. This mentality needs to change without it little progress can be expected


  6. There are still very few organisations in India which include policies favourable to the women workforce. That does become a deterrent for women to join back after a break. Aspiring women certainly should have equal opportunities in their workplace . Hope this changes soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Its changing. slowly and surely. Its all upto management I have seen some senior leaders who are really passionate to make this work and this kind of attitude then trickles down in the organisation – their tribe must grow

      Liked by 1 person

  7. The first story gives hope and sends a positive message amidst all the negativity (which is also true) around the issue of women getting back to work after a break. It will do more good if more such stories do the rounds and give the womankind believe in the possibility.


    1. True Anamika the lady was in London though and if I look at the changing scenario in European nations, its a welcome change. Would be good to have some such real stories closer home


  8. The first story is a beacon of hope. It shows that women that kickstart their career even after a break. I really hope your friend finds a job soon. It must be so frustrating and disappointing for her to leave a career that she had made with as much hard work and persistence as her husband.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I too work for a company that in their global campaigns support women and encourage gender diversity. However, a lot needs to change in our mindsets at the workplace. I believe that we as women too are responsible for the way we let ourselves be treated. It’s not easy no doubt, but being assertive is of utmost importance.

    Liked by 1 person

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