Life will never be the same again #FridayFictioneers

Leila squinted her eyes as she looked at the tinned roof and the cracked windows- the place she would now have to get used to living in. Her new home.

Memories of the tumultuous 2 days came flashing by where she and her folks were driven away from their land, she saw her own house being burned down to ashes before her eyes, her people massacred. They had managed to cross the border and were now in a new land. Neither here, nor there- where did they belong? The life of a refugee was not one she ever dreamt of living.

(100 words)

Linking up with the wonderful Rochelle Wisoff for #FridayFictioneers a photo prompt flash fiction.

I am taking my blog to the next level with #MyFriendAlexa

 

22 thoughts on “Life will never be the same again #FridayFictioneers

  1. Thx, Akshata

    S’nothing bad… just a bit of over-writing. Take, for example, the opening sentence, where you grab the reader’s attention.

    Leila squinted her eyes as she looked at the tinned roof…

    the dictionary definition (I spend a good part of my writing life in my dictionary) of squint is – to look at someone or something with one or both eyes partly closed in an attempt to see more clearly or as a reaction to strong light.

    So your opening sentence could quite easily be…

    Leila squinted at the tinned roof…

    In a similar vein, your sentence…

    she saw her own house being burned down to ashes before her eyes…

    could be effectively reduced to…

    she saw her own house burned to ashes

    (Down seems irrelevant as you say to ashes).

    That’s it. Simple really. I hope you find these word reduction suggestions constructive and helpful.

    🙂

    Best wishes, Kelvin

    Liked by 1 person

    1. These are very valid points, especially when it comes to flash fiction given the limit on words. Thx so much for the feedback, I now see how it could have been better. Can you be kind to keep the feedback flowing on my other blogs whenever you read

      Liked by 1 person

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