Her eyes were fixated on the 2 pages, neatly written lines on a crisp white sheet, they looked perfect. And then came the blobs of ink, smeared. This was sure to make creases appear on most people’ s foreheads. There goes the perfect page- sigh. But she looked at it intently and started thinking of her life which was so similar to this page.
Simmer down, everyone told her. You have a perfect life, what more do you want. Society’s standards of a perfect life- something she had spent her childhood and youth to a great extent in fulfilling. Ticking the boxes. And in the hustle, she missed out on living the life that gave her contentment. Was she happy? Did her life, her job, the way she spent each day from one Monday to the next give her a sense of fulfilment? What was the purpose of living each day like a robot, going through the daily grind , when a part of you was dying each day. She felt suffocated, she knew she had to set herself free. Sever some ties, take unconventional steps, break a few hearts. Was she being selfish? Thinking about herself, putting herself first this time? But if not she ,who would do that for her? “You will regret this decision, the consequences of your callous actions”, they said. There was an anxious voice that called out to her “what if this is all a big mistake?”
“So what, take a chance, you aren’t in a better place today, you know that”, said the other voice. She knew which one she had to feed.
And just like those blobs of ink that everyone considered ugly, her life was taking a detour. Who knew what lie on the other side, was it full of such big blobs or something even more beautiful than the neat handwriting on the page she had turned over- time would tell. She had made her choice. And she knew there was no looking back. Whats life without some challenges and a bumpy ride.
Note- we struggle to make decisions sometimes, specially the big ones. Those that do not conform to society’s norms of how a life should be led are perhaps the ones that need the most courage, support from our loved ones who stand by us and our decisions gives us that extra ounce of strength and sometimes that works wonders. Its easier said that done but during such moments of quandary , its best to think of what we owe ourselves and thats our happiness and peace of mind. Nothing matters more.
Written in response to Vineetha’s FictionMondays