I used to be at my wits end when Nysa was a baby. My days were filled with milk bottles, baby poop, laundry, baby food and vaccinations. I was waiting for her to grow up and go to school so that I could get back to living a life of my own- once upon a time I had this life where I could do as I wished, sleep in the middle of the day, eat when I wanted and go out when I wished. Its seemed like decades ago.
As Nysa grew up I found much to my amazement, that the Mommy worries were not over in fact it was a new beginning. Each stage had its challenges, and I was clueless as I tried to pick up the ropes and figure out how to climb the mountain.
If exams and bullying in school worried me, I hadn’t seen the real nightmare yet “teenage”. Nysa has just turned 13.
While this gives me ample time to focus on my work, my own life, the alarm bell within my insides keeps churning. Like today when I saw Nysa emerge out of the bedroom sporting a new pair of shorts. My first thoughts were she’s grown so tall, she looks so lovely in this outfit. But the next instant I was looking at her bare knees and creases appeared on my forehead. She was going for a picnic with her friends. As much as I am a liberal mom and have always believed in giving freedom to my child, the growing number of crimes against women has me worried. I wonder if I should voice my concerns aloud. One part of me cringes for I strongly feel we all should be free to lead the life we desire- be it in terms of the food we eat, what we wear, whom we talk with. Who are we to lay restrictions and dictate terms to another? I always dress up in skirts and one piece dresses to work – telling off Nysa would make me sound like a hypocrite. But what if some harm were to befall her? Isn’t it better to be safe than sorry?
Its thoughts like these which give me nightmares.
Nysa had a sleepover at a friend’s place recently and a late night party on Friday where a friend Kaushik came to drop her home. Is he her boyfriend I wondered? She hadn’t told me anything and I did hope that the bond we shared would make her confide in me if there was anything. A part of my was thrilled that she was living the life she wanted to, she took her studies seriously but also let her hair loose. But the other part was worried- what if she ended up hurting herself, would she be able to put the broken pieces aside and smile again?
As the mother of a teenager, giving space to her is what was most difficult. For the amount of space a teenager needs these days is very different from what I needed during my time. Every relationship thrives on honesty and respect. I choose to give her space, trust her and the values on which I had brought her up and leave the rest to time. If something bad were to happen, she would learn to pick up the pieces and mend it- I would be ready, in the backyard with a needle and thread – we would mend it together and make it whole again.
Linking up with #BlogchatterA2ZChallenge -Letter T
My theme for the challenge is
“A slice of life through Myra’s eyes” – a fictional tale of growing up and learning some vital lessons about self love, feminism, sisterhood, a working woman and the essence of being a woman in urban India.
Image source- momjunction.com