Mommy wanted a boy- did I really hear that or was it my imagination? Its hardly been 24 hours that I came into this world and I have heard more rotten things than I heard in the past 10 months in Mommy’s womb.
As I grow up I realise the bitter truth that many parents especially in India favour a boy over a girl child due to numerous reasons. The biggest misconception which fuels this desire is a girl will grow up, get married and go to someone else’s house but a boy will remain with his family, take care of his parents in their old age. Seems like a Stone Age thing to me. Its really a thing of the past, perhaps ages ago.
Things are changing these days and many people are indifferent when it comes to preferred gender of their offspring. I know that some of Daddy’s and Mommy’s relatives weren’t too happy when I came along, as they all wanted a boy child but I had never expected my Mommy of all the people to hold such biases.
I carried this grudge for long, my tears dried up but the scar remained. When I was old enough, on day in a fit of rage in the midst of an argument I blurted out ” You don’t talk about sexism Mommy, you wanted a boy. I know that, I heard Dadi say”.
Mummy was stunned, her expression was unfathomable. Perhaps she did not know how to react. But what she told me, made me bite my lip in shame for judging her too quickly without knowing the facts.
“Myra I wanted a boy yes but do you know why?Not because I think a daughter will grow up and desert me and a son will look after me but because I never had a brother as a child. We were 2 sisters. Nor did I have a cousin brother as you know we are all girls in the family. As much as I love girls and I share a special bond with my sister and cousins, I wanted a boy solely because I never had one in my growing years. This was the only reason.”
I felt guilty for judging Mom too quickly. While there is a lot of talk about being progressive and not differentiating between a boy and girl these days and most people talking about wanting a girl child or being indifferent- there could be some people who want a boy child and the reason could completely different than the age old reasons people had for wanting a male child. Like Sheena aunty heaved a sigh of relief when she was blessed with a boy child because she was worried about the safety of a girl child with so many incidents on the rise. Can such people freely express their opinion without being criticised? Are we getting too judgemental? Too many questions, but no answers.
This was just a drop of the ocean- there is lot I had to face as years progressed and I grew up. To start with, being a dusky girl means being viewed with a different set of lens but thats a story for tomorrow.
Linking up with #BlogchatterA2ZChallenge- Letter B
My theme for the challenge is
“A slice of life through Myra’s eyes” – a fictional tale of growing up and learning some vital lessons about self love, feminism, sisterhood, a working woman and the essence of being a woman in urban India.