www.akswrites.com

When I first read the prompt for Day 2, I was perplexed. My initial interpretation was of a quality I possess which helps me and enriches my life. But when I asked about this topic to my brother and a good blogger friend they came out with a totally different interpretation. They told me about books, parenting resources, newspapers etc from where I get information. Somehow I wasn’t very convinced and decided to go by my interpretation. After all when it comes to interpreting a topic, there can be many different pair of lens which can be used.

There are many external factors which are great resources and play a big role in keeping the wheel of my life moving. A great support system at home which enables me to don various hats- that of a career woman, a writer, a fashionista.

I am fortunate to have met a wonderful set of people and in the manner I least expected. I  had always considered online friendships fickle but I am glad to be proven wrong for once. My blogging journey has numerous highs but one of the biggest lifelong high is meeting an amazing bunch of bloggers who are friends for life.

Being a voracious reader since childhood has helped shape my thoughts and give wings to my imagination which can be felt in the stories I write. A lady MD whom I greatly admire once said its important to be well read and be abreast of latest news. I make an attempt to devour the newspaper in a speed reading session of 15 minutes and try and catch up on news, parenting articles and other blogs, participate in tweet chats and that helps me not only in churning ideas for my next blog post, but being a well informed and more confident person due to the knowledge I possess.

But above all I firmly believe that an inner drive to succeed, this quality that I have within to pursue my goals relentlessly and not accept mediocrity as an excuse is what is my biggest resource. I know some may think this sounds narcissistic, shouldn’t I be rather writing about people or gadgets or any other tangible thing that makes my life easier? But believe me , as I grow older and life throws various curve balls at me I have come to realize how important it is to have this drive to succeed and a spirit which never flickers.

The past few years have been quite a struggle for me professionally, a set of people who did not value me and did not lose any opportunity of putting me down. Overtime I was losing confidence in my abilities, I felt like an impostor.  This gold medal and rank at University level, an All India Rank in CA- it suddenly seemed to pale out and I started wondering if it was all just a lucky coincidence and I probably am not worthy of all this. I will always look back to the day which was one of my bleakest, I was down in the dumps but a tiny voice within me told me that I cannot be so weak. I decided to give a chance to myself. Changing my job after spending 7 years in an organisation was a big decision , it also meant moving cities but I took the plunge and today after a year I am the happiest.

With a new job, new set of people, starting afresh, each day gave me new opportunities and I made the most of them. My efforts were acknowledged and rewarded which only propelled me to do better. I found my mojo back.

Apart from work I started deriving a lot of joy and confidence from my writing. I had never written as much as a poem till I became a mom. But once the bug bit me there was no looking back. My inner drive to put in my best pushed me to explore uncharted territories. What started with a parenting journal soon metamorphosed into  stories and posts on varied and at times controversial topics like child abuse, divorce, LGBT, rampant misogyny in society. I recently wrote about female masturbation and the response by readers was overwhelming.

This quality of mine is as much a boon as a curse for it doesn’t really allow me to rest in peace. Till the moment I have achieved my goals its a constant struggle and once I achieve them, I set my sight on something new. Although it drains me at times and I do tell myself its ok to be mediocre and take things slow in a while, I am somehow not able to do that as the next moment I am busy planning my next move.

All said and done, I would rather choose to live with this hyperactive spirit of mine and a constant urge of being a better version of myself, I think this is one of the biggest resource which lies within each of us. The only thing we need to do is recognize it- love ourselves a little more, dream a little more, take risks and harness our inner potential to make our lives more fulfilling.