The fabulous life you thought was merely a dream #WomensDay #LetterToSelf

Dear Aks,

I see you, with a smile on your face, a pretentious one. I can tell for I know how tough this was. Being a nerdy girl comes with its cons. Don’t people love to make fun of those who take their studies seriously? Being among the top 3 in class every time is not without its share of envy and mockery which some people love to indulge in. But tell you what, these very things is what hold you in good stead as you move forward in life.

Do you know you will get a Gold medal in your 3rd year Bcom and will be on the merit list of the University. That’s a mighty achievement, isn’t it? That’s not all- the best part is you will become a Chartered Accountant and bag An All Indian CA Rank- the merit list yet again!

While you achieve all these fabulous things in your academics, the numbers of naysayers will grow- people will try to make it an uncool thing. But it isn’t. Trust me! Dedication perseverance, coupled with intelligence is the right mantra for success which you will discover as you move forward in life. You stand tall and proud today, more than a  decade letter, as a qualified CA working with a top notch investment bank in a very lucrative and niche area in finance. You are well regarded at the workplace. You also lead the Diversity and Inclusion workstream and one of your bigger goals is to see more women in the work place and take them along as you grow. A bold and unapologetic feminist you are! Had you dreamt you could be so vocal about things earlier?

The place you now stand in as a vulnerable teenager who is a part of a larger crowd but doesn’t feel comfortable being there, she rather prefers to be in the comfort of her home reading a book or chatting with Mom. But she dare not walk out- for she doesn’t want to invite the wrath of people. What they think of her matters, she doesn’t want to be termed a sore thumb. The multiple get togethers you showed up at and stayed back just because of this reason- you will be surprised to learn later in your life that nothing matters other than “you”. Life is short, why waste it on boring parties when you prefer to shake a leg in the comfort of your bedroom. You are a person who has a few friends and they are the ones you feel most at home with. Some of them who once seemed friends for life have moved away and you only remain friends on Facebook with that occasional Facebook birthday wish. As painful as it may seem, that’s life my love. But all is not lost. Some of them still remain an integral part of your life and cherish them , value them and put in your best to keep the bond intact for these are the ones that matter.

Now comes the best part- would you ever have imagined that you become a writer? Not in your wildest dreams I know. So one fine day after being a reader for ages you decided to pen your daughter’s birth story just like that. And the super confident person that you are, you went ahead and posted it on a popular parenting website Momspresso. That was the beginning of a new journey. How would it feel if I told you, you are one of the Top Bloggers there with a follower count of 240 and have bagged the coveted “Top Parenting Blogs for the Month” 4 times. Writing changed your life in numerous ways- it gave you greater confidence, opened up your mind to being more inclusive, sensitive and a feminist.  That was the turning point. You realized that you weren’t always treated fairly, sometimes it was a sub conscious thing and heck not just others, even you dint treat yourself fairly at times. Perhaps this thing was fit into your mind – that being a woman you have fewer privileges than a man. Writing changed you and this was a big change. You were listed as as one of the Top 10 Indian Women Bloggers by a popular digital media platform “Women’s Web” – your writing  which many say is bold and impactful and doesn’t shy away from talking about real issues is what influenced your personal and professional journey as well.

You realize a bit late in life that you own your career- you will be so proud of some unconventional decision you have taken like the 3 month business trip to Switzerland in 2017 without your heartbeat- your child Angel. A very difficult decision as a mother but with your beloved Mom’s support , you could do it. Women often complain that their career path is not as clear and they are given fewer opportunities than men. But when a golden opportunity comes their way, what do they do? You seized it and one day Angel will be super proud of you just as you feel good about yourself today.

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You know as clueless as you are as a 15 year old today about what life will turn out to be, the truth is its fabulous and the best part is you have found your true passion- your job which gives you contentment and you relentlessly pursue your journey to the C- suite. And your writing which is an inseparable part of you- that safe haven where you share real stories of sexism you see at the workplace, stories of people who inspire you, your trials and tribulations as a parent and so much more.

Being financially independent – having the power to buy what you want right from a house to a designer bag and not having to ask, consult or hesitate- that my girl is being in control of yourself. That’s something every individual should be able to enjoy and the position you are in right now , believe me it only gets better from here. With power comes responsibility as they say- responsibility to raise your little girl right, be the role model for little girls and women around, through your writing and your role at the workplace influence them positively and take more women with you in your journey as you walk a step closer to that corner office.

Its a long and arduous journey and you meet many people on the way- some toxic but you now know who matters and who doesn’t. You are comfortable in your skin- you flaunt that black dress with aplomb. As a child you were told don’t wear black as you are dark skinned , you spent far too many years feeling inferior about your skin color and glasses but that changed suddenly.  You are in love with yourself, you refuse to be body shamed for not having an hour glass figure, you refuse to cover that tiny bump which shows after childbirth.. You dress up well and put in efforts to look good- and that’s just for one person who matters the most-YOU’.

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You are truly a changed person- and I wish you could see your life as it is today. It will take away the ill feeling and unhappiness you have had to endure but as they say- its only life experiences which teach us the best lessons- they make stronger, tougher, at the same time more compassionate. So going through the tough times helps, you emerge more resilient as you rise like a phoenix from the ashes.

I will not send this letter to you but burn it up and let you soak in what life has to offer- the good and bad and I will see you at the other side of the bend- the new you.

Much love

Your 33 year old self

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Hosted By:
Mommying BabyT
The Dreamer Mum
Aesha’s Musings
Baby & Beyond

This post is a part of #WomensDayBlogParty. I’d like to thank Uttara for introducing me. Read her post for this blog party here

Also do go to Dilpreet’s blog post on  to read her wonderful thoughts on one of the super cool topics  that are a part of this blog party.

 

 

 

 

 

25 thoughts on “The fabulous life you thought was merely a dream #WomensDay #LetterToSelf

  1. I love you for the way you are, Akshata. You are a super confident girl. There is much to learn from you. The letter you wrote would inspire any young girls to dream, dream big & strive to achieve those dreams.
    You asked me that do I sound narcissistic?
    My answer No, not at all.
    Reason: there’s nothing wrong to love yourself, nothing wrong in letting the world know about your achievements. Because you worked hard for it. You made tough decisions. You stood by your decisions. You didn’t fear & made yourself accountable for those decisions.
    I love you the way you are, and are few of the bloggers whose friendship will cherish all my life. Good luck to you always!! I am awaiting a time when you will head a multinational bank , and I will very proudly say Akshata Ram is my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Loved reading your journey..more importantly the decisions made. I feel that the letter is addressed to lot of girls dreaming big. Really feeling so proud to meet you. Kudos and good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh Akshata..what an amazing post! For most part of it,especially the first half,it felt as if I was reading my own post.Keep writing and inspiring!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It takes a lot of skill to write about one’s achievements and yet be awe-inspiring and motivating. Kudos to you for all that you have achieved. I am amazed especially at your writing achievements while you manage your professional life and your home.
    Thanks for joining in on our #WomensDayBlogParty

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Loved reading your journey and the 15year old you would be mighty proud of how far she has come. Also huge props to you for seizing the opportunity for travelling alone even while I’m sure you suffered huge amount of mom guilt. But like you rightly said one day your daughter will grow up to be proud of you and your decisions.loved reading your post.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi Akshata! Kudos yet again for achieving so much so early on in life. You will go far with this attitude. Love this positive and inspiring love-note to your younger self and esp these lines – ´That was the turning point. You realized that you weren’t always treated fairly, sometimes it was a sub conscious thing and heck not just others, even you dint treat yourself fairly at times. Perhaps this thing was fit into your mind – that being a woman you have fewer privileges than a man. Writing changed you and this was a big change.´ Keep writing, inspiring and Happy Women´s Day, Akshata 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Such a lovely post! And I love the way you have looked back at your life, highlighted the challenges and underscored the achievements. A lot of times, women tend to understate their achievements or deflect credit. This was a lovely post in that it didn’t! Stay this way. If I had a daughter, I would have made her read this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for the wonderful words! I was a bit apprehensive before hitting the publish button but I went ahead thinking “If I dont believe in myself and applaud myself, who else will?”

      Like

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