Choices #FictionMonday

Pure platonic relationships between opposite sexes- do they exist? Can one be just friends with someone from the other gender, with absolutely no romantic feelings.

Most of my girlfriends say nah! Not possible. Love and sex come in between, or at least one of the 2 chuckles Maria. I scoff in disbelief. “Look at Josh and me. The thought of anything remotely intimate between us seems so repulsive. He’s my best friend, my buddy , we talk about anything and everything under the sun, laugh silly, cry our heart out. But we both are so sure that what we feel for each other is not romantic love”

Or so I thought.

Till Josh told me one day that he had started to develop feelings for Jane. Jane! Of all the people. He deserved better. I couldn’t fathom what he liked in her. But I held his hand and gave him a hug, just like a friend would do. Thats when I felt weird. Inside of me. Jealously, insecurity, anger, pain- so many emotions running through my mind as tears trickled down my cheeks and I brushed them aside as quickly I could.

Josh and Jane dated for 2 years and then broke up when she moved abroad and long distance wasn’t working out. I wanted to tell Josh as he wept in my lap, that all was not lost. That he and I perhaps had something deeper, more than just friendship, I was starting to feel differently about him, about us, our future. But now was not the time, I bit my lip silently and held myself back.

And that time somehow never came.

Josh met someone else, someone really wonderful, the forever kind of love. I was insanely happy for him. My pal. I had to bury my feelings and put on my brightest smile for my best friend’s wedding.

I felt deliriously happy for him but a big part of me couldn’t stop the floodgates from bursting open- tears of joy and sadness co mingled.

A few years later that forced choice seemed the best decision I could ever make – Josh never harboured such feelings for me and what we now had as friends we could perhaps never have as lovers. Perhaps some choices, as forced as they may seem initially tend to work out for the better.

Written in response to FictionMonday hosted by Vinitha

5 thoughts on “Choices #FictionMonday

  1. That’s a tough choice to make. One can never know what direction life would have taken had one picked a different option. But getting lost in the ‘what if’s is a dangerous thing.

    Liked by 1 person

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