A good friend asked me few days ago- “Whats up?” and instead of saying “All good, great, or doing fine”, I chose to tell him exactly what I felt at that moment.
I was chatting with a colleague whom I talk to almost every day as we work closely . I asked him the customary “How are you?”
“Not so good” came his reply. My first instinct was to ask if he fell unwell and he said he is stressed about something at work.
I felt good in both cases, with my friend and colleague that we could share how we felt at that moment rather than put on a facade while we faced quite a contrasting feeling within.
I have been feeling “meh” quite a bit lately. I wouldn’t go into reasons for that on my blog. I have been talking to a few close friends in different stages of life’s journey who are going through tough times professionally or personally. What binds us all is sharing our inner turmoil with someone, knowing life is not perfect. We will tide over it someday despite the uncertainty and bleakness around, but it helps knowing we all have our struggles.
A friend shared this quote today-
I saw this and we got chatting briefly about how important it is to soak in negative emotions, periods of despair, pain, angst, as much as we yearn for happiness. The general tendency is we have to fight such feelings and snap out , we often dont want to acknowledge them. Or should they last for longer we feel something is gravely wrong with us.
Rather than fleeing these emotions, we should let ourselves to experience them. Of course its not fun feeling listless and a dearth of happiness. Reminds of the Dementors (For Harry Potter Fans ) who suck out all the light and happiness in a person. A feeling of utter despair and bleakness until a Patronus is conjured, the shining light of which blinds the dementors and they vanish.
Joy and sadness are a part of life, its foolish to expect to be happy all time. But isn’t that what social media portrays. I am an avid user of Instagram and am often sharing pics of my workout , meeting out with friends , antics with my little one, our dance videos. Yes all these are happy thoughts and moments and it might seem my life is perfect, but I do have my imperfect moments. And I do share some of it with a few people close to me. That doesn’t stop me from living my life, I still need to wake up each day, work, eat, sleep, spend time with my daughter- so why not also do things that keep me motivated like my workout. And make my reels. Doesn’t mean every day of workout is one of joy. At times its an inner turmoil I am fighting, a listless feeling, but working out helps me stay active mentally and physically. It gives me a sense of joy and adrenaline rush. After all, who can resist endorphins and why should you.
I had the tendency to try and snap out of such feelings as soon as I can by distracting myself but I am now realising I should allow myself to experience the whole gamut of emotions, after all only after sadness will we be able to truly cherish happiness. And being in a happy state at all times is a mirage, I doubt we would be able to truly feel the same amount of bliss if we were to be happy at all times . With sadness we are likely to think of ways to make our situation better and address the root cause of what makes us feel sad, if we are to truly introspect and be honest with ourselves , we are more likely to find a solution to it. But that can only happen when we acknowledge it and let ourselves experience sadness fully.
So the next time you feel meh, let yourself feel it for a little while more and you will conjure your Patronus when the time is right.
Image courtesy- Bustle