Can you chose between your mother and wife?

Akash starred at the screen aimlessly. It was almost midnight. Little Honey would be sleeping by now. Even Charu his wife would have retired to bed. He packed his bag and left.

As he drove past the empty streets, several images flashed before his eyes. The quarrel they had today morning when once again he was asked to chose between his mother and wife? What could he answer? Could he really choose one over other when both women meant the world to him?

And then he remembered his marriage day. Charu ad his Mom got along well but that was back then. Things were different. His parents lived separately in their house and visited Charu and Akash often. They had a duplex house and Akash’s dad was keen to have the couple live with them but his mother did not agree.” I think we should give them space and privacy. Let them enjoy their freedom. Charu is new to our family let’s give her time to adjust. Anyway they are living nearby we can always visit each other”. And so they lived apart but enjoyed a good relationship.

And then Charu was pregnant one day. Everyone was overjoyed. Honey was born and Charu went to live with her parents in Hyderabad for a few months. And once she was back, she had to resume work. She was an ambitious career minded woman and Akash wholeheartedly supported her. Why should she make any sacrifices just because she was a woman? It was decided that Akash’s parents would move in and his mother would look after Honey when they went to work. Charu was relieved too that she could resume work without worrying about her child.

Things were fine initially but slowly issues started creeping in. One cannot say that one of them was completely at fault. Charu came from a different family, had a different upbringing and was not in agreement with everything her MIL did -right from her way of cooking to taking care of  the child. She felt her MIL was insecure at times and tried to get her son on her side. She viewed her DIL as a threat. The MIL on the other hand felt that’ she was being taken for granted. Charu did not value her, what she did for her grad child was due to pure love for the little one but that did not mean that she was to be taken for granted by anyone, not even her son. And then the fights started. Akash was the one who was worst hit by these as he could really not take anyone’s side. He analyzed the situation and heard both parties out and tried his best to makes rational decision and get the women to see each other’s point of view and come to an amicable solution but he failed. They refused to see eye to eye.
He couldn’t disregard his mother completely as her points raised were often valid and he was also afraid what would happen to Honey if his parents decided to leave. He couldn’t oppose Charu as well as he understood at times where she came from. Her set of beliefs and values were very different. He was in a fix.

Who said a man has it easy. As he reached home and parked his car, he looked at the Verma’s car parked in the next slot. They were his neighbors -a couples and their little son. They lived in a nuclear set up. No in laws no fights. But was it easy? The little boy stayed at day care the whole day, he was picked up at 7.40 then brought home. His mother was busy cooking and attending to household chores and she could hardly spend time with him. Typical of working couples, it’s not easy.

But he was happy Honey was growing up on the loving shade of her grandparents. Wish Charu would understand this. If not for this, what option would they have but to leave Honey with a maid or at daycare? He also wished his Mom understood that working for 10 hours at office isn’t easy. Plus after becoming a mother Charu would always think of the baby at back of her mind. She knew that the baby was being well taken care of but as a mother she would not be at peace till she’s was her child. She was grateful to her MIL and she told this to him on so many occasions, just that she had different values and way of doing things.

He sighed and opened the house door.  Women Women. You can’t do with them, you can’t do without them. You can’t choose among them. You love them both equally and madly. So what do you do?  Just pull on and hope things will smoothen out which you know is a false hope you give yourself or take a hard decision and split the family which will also not help as the child will have to bear the consequences. He did not know the answers. Did anyone know them ever? 

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