This year has been a year of so many good byes, the final ones. The ones that make you realise that life is fragile. We may fret over small things, hold grudges, have grand plans about how life will unfold knowing at the back of our mind that life is transitionary but seldom realising that it can all snap in an instant.
Dadi- actually my nani (mom’s mom- for some reason we always called her and my grandpa Dadi and Dadaji ) taught me a lot about life- about what one should be and what one should not.
Over the past several years I learnt how hard work, determination, courage, willpower and resilience can stand the test of time. She had a hard childhood etched in poverty but was determined to make her own destiny. From her, I learnt I don’t have to depend on someone be it my parents or a husband or kids to make my life. It is going to be hard to do it by yourself but it will be worth it when you look back at how you made it happen for you and for your loved ones. I learnt to be self dependent, to find my way in adversity . I learnt the importance of education, making a career.
But I also learnt what one should not be. I learnt to forgive quickly, most of all for one’s own peace, to not hold grudges, everyone is fighting their own battles we know nothing about. I learnt it’s important to call out for help, there is no shame in admitting one needs help and support. As one grows older, there is humility in accepting that the body does not remain what it once was, strength reduces, and simple tasks can feel cumbersome. It’s important to accept it and let your loved one take charge. Maybe you were too proud to listen to others when you were younger and could manage your life independently but when that’s no longer the case, it’s important to let go of that pride and let your family take charge. They do it out of love and concern, they want the best for you, and they are trying to do their best with their limited time and constraints, with jobs to manage and children to take care of.
The people who truly care for you and always pray for your best are a handful, as I see them disappear one by one, my heart is filled with sadness at what I lost and will never gain back. But it also fills me with a renewed sense of gratitude and a responsibility to love and care for the very few who are still with me.
Rest in peace Dadi.
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