Tears streamed down my cheeks, I kept wiping them away and blinked my eyes focussing on the road ahead. The last thing I wanted was to cause an accident.
The sky was grey, clouds hovered all around as thunder rumbled – it felt like the weather perfectly summed up my inner turmoil.
The heated conversation with Gina flashed before my eyes, I couldn’t take it anymore. I slammed the brakes and burst into tears. Was this a nightmare? I wish it was. I honestly wish this had never transpired between us.
My girl, my lifeline, my heartbeat Gina, the one around whom my entire life revolved. Hell it wasnt easy being a mom, managing your job, a child, responsibilities that came with it. But one look at her innocent face and I forgot all my pain .
We were inseparable, I was her world and she mine. We were not just mother daughter but pals. And then she grew up and dint need me any longer. I had become a hindrance.
The tiff we had today had gone a step further where she said something that made my heart almost stop beating. I walked out silent, too shocked to utter a word. As I sat in my car and left, I could hear her running behind “Mom, please stop, I am sorry, I dint mean it”
But I was in a trance.
The whole scene flashed before my eyes, the pain was getting heavier to bear. As I closed my eyes, I could vividly remember my overgrown belly, the first time I saw her after she was born, I took her in my arms and hugged her. She fulfilled my dream of being a mother, something I had so badly wanted. And then it struck me, almost like I had been blinded for years and my vision was clearing slowly.
She had never asked to be born, it was my desire to be a mother that made me bring her into this world, I cannot hold her under the weight of my sacrifice for lifetime. Any sacrifice I had made – in terms of my career, my life, my dreams had been of my own free will. I wasn’t being fair to her.
I needed to let her spread her wings and fly, explore the world, make mistakes sure but learn to move on. However scared I was, I had to let my baby live her life and release her from the shackles I had bound her with.
I smiled as took out my phone and dialled her number. The overcast sky was now decked by a rainbow.
Written in response to FictionMondays hosted by Vinitha Dileep.