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Does it sound strange to talk about “Hiatus” or “Pausing”as my word of the Year when everyone’s talking about chasing their dreams, going out and getting what you desire. And thats exactly the kind of person I am. The ambitious , front bencher who will raise her hand first ( read Hermoine in class).

The past year as been good mostly though not one that ended on the best note. I had aspired to acquire some new skills- plunge into something that scares me and get rid of my fear. Learning to swim and drive were the top 2 on my mind as the thought of jumping into water and sitting in the driver’s seat freaks me out. It makes me feel really proud of myself that I did take the plunge and did not quit mid way. While I started my driving classes after some procrastination and this will extend to 2019, I did learn swimming in 2018. Though not a pro but I am so delighted that I can put that expensive swimming costume to good use and I no longer go to a resort and just frolic in the water! Hi fi to that!

2018 was great professionally as well as I put my best foot forward and received some great feedback and splendid opportunities . There were setbacks too but one big learning I had is to “let go”. Especially of things that are not within my control.

As easy as it sounds to say, its the most difficult part when things don’t work as you envisaged and especially when you have worked really hard towards it. But then you got to realise, you did your best, there is nothing more you could have done and had you got another chance, there is nothing different that you would have done. No point in making yourself unhappy as that won’t change anything.

This is what led me to come up with my WOTY for 2019. I have spent the last year and most of my life being the meticulous planner, working towards achieving my plans. This also means a lot of stress for you are constantly thinking of whats the next goal and how do you get there, laying down a plan and working towards it. Things might turn in your favour, they may not. Even of they do, its not that you are in a state of bliss once you achieve what you set sight on. Cos now there is a new plan and then another!

Its a never ending process and its burns one out. I have had my moments of laid back relaxation, precious moments with my daughter as I see her grow a little bit each day, a few good times with friends and colleagues and some me time too which is a non negotiable one for me.

But I have mostly felt this constant feeling of having things on my mind and the thought that once I achieve 1,2,3 I will then be in a peaceful and delirious state but that never happens as there a new 1 and 2 and perhaps 3 which is still on the list.

This is why I will make a conscious attempt this year to pause that constant barrage of thoughts- read more, write, talk to myself about the good things in life that I am thankful for, forge meaningful bonds and cherish the ones I have, practice gratitude and give myself a break.

Pausing is good sometimes! I cant believe that came from me , perhaps my epiphany.

Whats your Word of the Year 2019? Dos share in the comments section.

I am participating in the word of the year challenge hosted by Corinne of Everyday Gyaan. 

Image courtesy: tianasmith.com