X mas is something I look forward to each year with gusto. Though I am not a Christian, having studied in a convent school and lived in a cosmopolitan culture, I love the spirit of Christmas. In fact it was my favourite festival , it beat Diwali by a small margin. I loved the homemade cakes and cookies, the excitement of putting up a Christmas tree, unwrapping presents as a kid and wrapping them up for Nysa when I became a parent.
This time was extra special with the new addition to the family. I had bought a cute Santa outfit for the baby and had decked up the Christmas tree with fairy lights. I could never have imagined this Christmas would turn out to be a nightmare.
Its the day Suraj breathed his last. He went away, just like that.
We chatted like any other day and went to bed. Little did I know every thing I was doing with him, for him this Christmas Eve would be the last one. The evening walk, the debate over positive affirmation, watching another episode of “The Good Wife”, having our meal together, he doing the dishes while I tidied up the kitchen and that laughter for no reason. It was the last one. Had I done things differently if I knew this was coming?
The first 2 days I was in a trance. I just couldn’t believe that he was no more, He died peacefully in his sleep, a cardiac arrest is what we were told. Arjun and Nysa took charge and my parents were by my side. Isn’t 62 too young to get an attack, that too for a healthy person who watches his weight, exercises and eats moderately? Our twilight years had just begun, we looked forward to this new phase where our responsibilities as parents had lessened to a great extent. Our commitment towards our jobs would end soon. We had decided to travel the world, do things we like, in fact we had just enrolled ourselves for couple swimming classes. And it all came crashing down.
The financial matters has been taken care of by Suraj – a will had been drafted by both of us to help our dear ones find clarity amid the turmoil of losing a dear one.
Life is so fragile I thought. Till now I had been reading, watching on TV about death and attending funerals of other people- it alway happened to others. Not us. We are safe and secure we think. But we are not immortal. I look at the our wedding pictures, the honeymoon, the maternity shoot and Nysa’s birth, one after other. We had our ugly moments but the happy ones outshone those. We respected each other and above all were best friends. I knew he would never want to see me in this state. I had to get up, smile again and face the new day with optimism. I got up as I had to honour the pact that we had made- to stay happy, even if the other one was not along.
Linking up with #BlogchatterA2ZChallenge
Image courtesy-weheartit.com
My theme for the challenge is
“A slice of life through Myra’s eyes” – a fictional tale of growing up and learning some vital lessons about self love, feminism, sisterhood, a working woman and the essence of being a woman in urban India.
this brought me tears aks. i cant think or imagine a dear one passing away. towards the end, u are making me getting more attached to the story. a slice of life- very apt.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thx so much Deep as painful it seems, life is not immortal. Its best to make each day memorable
LikeLiked by 1 person
nearing the 40s, although i am not scared to die, i really dread the moments when i think negative. i cant bear to see K or A suffering from anything. these guys will go helpless without us, as a wife and as a mom. this post is really touching aks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Although we all know the eventual end of life, seeing it happen to someone in our own lives is always difficult to deal with. I struggle with the idea of losing loved ones.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We all struggle with that Neha. Thx for stopping by
LikeLiked by 1 person
In my personal opinion losing your life partner, one who has been true to the role, is the most devastating thing that could happen, because until then no matter what goes wrong, you have them by your side and face it together. My sincere condolences Myra and I applaud you for trying to find happiness again because there is absolutely no doubt that that is what Suraj would have wanted.
LikeLiked by 2 people
True it’s hard to fathom life without the one person who matters the most.
LikeLike
This is heart breaking. Losing a spouse can be so very devastating but it takes lots of courage, strength to get up and start afresh. Myra is a true hero! Salute.
Your series is beautiful Aks.
Natasha
natashamusing
April Anecdotes
We Are The World
LikeLiked by 1 person
True Nats! It is indeed shattering. Thx for stopping by
LikeLiked by 1 person
A good reminder that life is not all hunky-dory, there are plenty of speed bumps along the way, and we can seldom see them coming.
LikeLiked by 1 person
True Anurag make the most of each day, make wonderful memories
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for sharing. Such a good reminder to live each day
LikeLiked by 1 person
Indeed thx for stopping by
LikeLike
Poor Myra! Condolences to her
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thx Meena!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am sad for Myra! People in their midlife look forward to getting retired so that they can travel the world and do all the things they could not do when their kids were growing up and were demanding. As you said twilight years is when a couple comes closer again. This was robbed from Myra, but am happy to know that she is determined to be happy no matter what!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yrs Anshu one cannot mourn forever and especially when you knew the person who left you would never want to see you like that
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly! Life is to live!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, So tragic. Painful to read, wish nobody had to separate from their loved ones. Bitter reality.
LikeLiked by 1 person
True Priya it’s really sad and difficult to deal with
LikeLike
Oh dear reading a story like this at this time in my life is not very comforting for me …. however life does happen
LikeLiked by 1 person
Don’t mean it to sound as an alarm Sunita but life is indeed fragile. I was thinking if my grandfather who passed away 4 years ago in his sleep. My grandparents were married for 57 years
LikeLike
Oh no, so sad, and yet with your theme we should have been expecting something along the way – that is part of life after all.
https://iainkellywriting.com/2018/04/27/x-is-for-xanthi-greece/
LikeLiked by 1 person
True Ian death had to be a topic in my theme.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Life is fragile. That is so sad that, but kudos to Myra who accepted the truth and moves on.
LikeLiked by 1 person
True it is indeed very fragile. Thx for stopping by Anami
LikeLike
Beautifully written Aks. I had tears in my eyes. You have written this post with so much love and tenderness that my heart ached. I am feeling sad that in two days this story will end. I will miss reading them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much Balaka for this sweet comment. When writing this I recalled my grandfather’s death and imagined myself in my my grandma’s shoes. They shared a bond for 57 years
LikeLiked by 1 person
Loss of a spouse is terrible and when it happens in old age it leads to a lot of loneliness. Its a very sad thing to go through as one gets so used to having the other person around. Your story reminded me of Ove when his wife Sonja dies and his inner turmoil over it from the book A man called Ove.
X is for Xenial #atozchallenge
LikeLiked by 1 person
True Shalini it can be devastating.
LikeLiked by 1 person
O God, it made me numb, you have been so earnest in penning this my dear that it comes straight from your heart to ours.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thx so much Roma!!
LikeLike
Oh! The series has gone on beautifully Akshata. Even in grief, you have shone her strength.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thx a ton Namy! This means a lot
LikeLike
Myra is a strong person, she’ll overcome this too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hope so Lav
LikeLiked by 1 person
I cannot comprehend life without L. I will be devastated to lose my best friend. I hope that day is far away.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I understand it can be shattering but death is a part of life. That’s the reason I wanted to cover it here
LikeLike
The life is short, so we should enjoy each moment. Myra is a strong person, so will eventually stand again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes Ruchi life is indeed fragile
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s really tough to suddenly lose someone without warning.The ones who survived indeed go into shock and withdraw into a shell.
LikeLiked by 1 person
True but as hard as it seems its important to start living again
LikeLike
I am sad. One for knowing that Myra had a long road ahead and second for the reason that it was Xmas eve 😦
Happy for Suraj that he had seen the best of the life and had finished all his duties so well.
Shared memories for the company now for Myra. I am sure she will live every moment hence forth, twice. Once for herself and once for Suraj!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a wonderful thought Anagha! One for herself and one for Suraj!
LikeLike
Loosing your partner is devastating. But I am glad Myra wants to live life positively even after Suraj’s demise. After all this is what he would have wanted too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes it’s a difficult phase but she will tide through
LikeLiked by 1 person