This morning I woke up to a shocking news. Rekha my neighbour had passed away from a sudden cardiac arrest. She had been busy wrapping up the kitchen work before she called it a night when she felt the pain in her chest. She collapsed and was rushed to the hospital where she was declared dead.
Life is fragile, but what really hit me hard is the probability that she could have been saved had she gone for a check up to the doctor.
I usually met Rekha on my way to work and we had a quick chit chat on weekends when I was not in a mad rush. She was a ]55 something lady who was always in a hurry, not because she had to go to work but because all the household chores were her primary responsibility, From cooking 3 fresh meals a day, a house full of in laws, 2 grown up kids, a husband who always insisted on hot and fresh meals and a constant barrage of visitors which meant she was always scurrying to the kitchen to dish out something. She proudly announced to me “We always eat piping hot rotis and fresh vegetables, I cook twice a day, my hubby refuses to eat unless the food is cooked right before his eyes”. I rolled my eyes in disbelief -seriously whats this with men and hot food, I wondered as I took out the rice from the fridge and placed it in the microwave.
To make this worse, the father in law was bed ridden and the mother in law too weak to care for him, which made it Rekha’s duty to be the caregiver here. She had been complaining of fatigue and some mild chest pain a week ago. I was alarmed and asked her to see the doctor but she waved it off dismissing it as gas trouble. “Who has time Myra I have relatives and need to make aam ras puri, will send some to your house too”.
The family looks shell shocked, its like the lifeline has gone away. I see her husband heat something in the microwave and gobble it up with tearful eyes. Is that regret over not caring enough for his wife or is it the worry that he will now have to eat stale food for the rest of his life?
I go to the kids and hug them “We never cared for Mummy, took her for granted, we should have helped her instead of demanding she cook our favourite pav bhaji all the time , we should have made sure she rested, took care of her health, we had stopped looking at her as our mother. Its too late now”.
There is little I can say, I am not stunned anymore but I am sad, at the loss of a life. I will miss the cherry greeting, the smile and those little treats she used to send. But I know I will be vigilant now about my health, make sure I make time for the regular check ups and spread this message to all my near and dear ones especially my women friends and family who often put their health last, but have to pay a heavy price sometimes.
Linking up with #BlogchatterA2Z
My theme for the challenge is
“A slice of life through Myra’s eyes” – a fictional tale of growing up and learning some vital lessons about self love, feminism, sisterhood, a working woman and the essence of being a woman in urban India.
(Image courtesy: https://www.nextavenue.org)
Lovely story Akshata and a subject that can’t be stressed enough. Women need to take care of their health no matter what they are busy with, a career or home. And women need to educate themselves about symptoms of deadly conditions in women as they may not be familiar with these. the symptoms men experience are popularly known and not the ones women experience. no surprise there but we need to change it. Great post.
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Education is another aspect thats severely lacking Kanika and the reason mentioned by you based on research is appalling.
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This is so touching aks. I can see something relating to this post in my family. My mom is a similar type. She is old today. My mom in-laws is also old. Time to give them a bear hug.. Lovely post. S is Six Sigma .
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True Deep and tell them as well to care for themselves
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So many women are there like this lady in your post. They don’t care for them and always behind the family. To them family is the priority. Self care is much needed. I know once when one of my aunt indulged in self care, the uncle sarcastically told her that she is ignoring the family and indulging in social life. The aunt replied back that self is not being selfish. And she has done much for the family and she needs her space in private. Looks like, women have to change.
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That was a good thing your aunt did. May many more follow her path
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An important thing to be repeated to every woman. I thought of so many as I read this piece. Kudos to your writing and topics addressed!
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Thx so much Namy. many women come to my mind too including my close ones
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Brought out so nicely! But it is a universal Indian phenomenon, males or females, we never go to doctor until the last stage. Men or women won’t take a day off from work/ responsibilities. We are on a rat race always.
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True men as well are lax but women are more guilty in this matter
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There are thousands of Rekhas around us, who dutifully carry out routine chores of managing home front and neglecting their health. An eye opener for all of us to not be another Rekha.
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True Anagha in fact many such in our country
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This is alarming. A wake up call for all of us. They teach a life lesson in flights. Help yourself before helping others.
I have seen a lady, almost looking healthy, collapse in the middle of a festival and passing away shortly afterwards.
So before handing over the any medicine to anybody, take ur calcium supplements. Rest, and don’t hesitate to ask for help from ur people.
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That is shocking but at the same time an eye opener for all of us
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The sad truth of life. I have seen it happening to a few ladies I personally know. They take care of everyone and everything, think that their household cannot run without them. Sadly, they never take care of their health and always place themselves last. Women should realise that if they are that important, their health is equally important too. Glad you raised this issue, Akshata!
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Thx Anshu not just SAHM’s most of us do take or health too lightly. Sometimes it can be a very heavy price to pay.
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Agree Akshata, we women are raised that way to put others before us, be it working or SAH mothers.
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A pertinent subject brought out beautifully. We women are taught to put ourselves not as a priority and take care of others. It is sad she had to die.
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Ya its sad Balaka but I really wanted people to know it can get really ugly unless you take your health seriously
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Stay at home moms often land up putting themselves last….but not all have such a tragic end..
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But this tragic end is meant to serve as an eye opener to all women around
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It took her passing to make them appreciate what a special person she was. A poignant piece indeed.
A-Z of My Friend Rosey!
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Yes and make others realise they need to take their health seriously. Thx for stopping by Keith
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We women do ignore our health while th emen become babies at the drop of a cough or a sniffle. I see how my mom is forver spinning around my dad is least appreciative. I have been after my mom’s life to go for check ups; she has finally gone for one and gotten tests done too. Phew!!!!
Well written post Aks!!
S is for The Indian Sherlock Holmes #atozchallenge
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That’s great that you persisted and she agreed.
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This is so heart wrenchingly relatable. One of my neighbour similarly has taken to heavenly abode this Holi. It’s time we take our health seriously.
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That’s sad Roma. We all have a lot to think about and action
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All the burden on one really gets worse in the long run. Usually in India, where home stay mothers are usually and continuously doing work right from when they wake up before everyone to the time they sleep after everyone. Yet they are given the least credit. A strong message this one is.
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True Shweta it’s indeed sad and they have to pay a heavy price
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That’s very sad to hear. Life in this generation has become really unpredictable, thanks to the lifestyle and lack of pure food. I am sure she would be quite active and would be doing her part of exercise through household chores, but still had to suffer.
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It’s also about being vigilant and doing regular check ups which many women neglect. That’s the point I wanted to bring up
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It’s a sad truth, Indian women are conditioned to believe that they have to just take care of the entire family and not think of their own selves. I have to literally push my mother to ensure that she does not neglect her health. Very valid topic raised Akshata.
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That’s a good step you took Neha thx for sharing your thoughts
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Such an important topic. Thank you.
http://melaniecrousesblog.blogspot.com/2018/04/s-is-for-sorry-not-sorry.html
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Thx for stopping by Melanie!
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Oh, yes. That’s what most women do — put themselves at the end of their priority lists and then suffer from all the neglect. Making our health our priority — because no one else will — is what we need to remember always.
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She worked herself to death, such a shame. It is a sad time when you reach a certain age and older friends and family start to pass on.
https://iainkellywriting.com/2018/04/21/s-is-for-siauliai-lithuania/
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We take our health so casually unless the problem gets out of proportion we don’t consider ourselves as in need of the medical check-up. Crucial topic picked by you here Akshata.
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A hard-hitting fact that health of women comes last in the priority list in many cases. Household chores, serving sizzling hot food takes the main priority than your dear one’s health and life is a questionable mark, which should be answered without any further delay.
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True Rashmi it’s indeed scary
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So true on the neglecting health part, as well as the women being driven/driving themselves like slaves. Something’s gotta give ultimately.
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True Anurag thats the awareness I wanted to create through this post
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So sad to hear that. Yes most of the women keep their health at last but it should be our priority .
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True Monika we all need to be vigilant about our health and not make it the last priority
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What you say is very relevant Akshata. Housewives are often taken for granted and overloaded with stress and work. If they complain they are scoffed at and emotionally blackmailed. We only realise our mistakes when it’s too late.
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True Arjun every person needs to give this a serious thought
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This sounds like a typical Indian tale. The lady of the house putting her needs last. Regret too late to make a difference. Excellent post!
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Thx Lav
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Very very important. Women just ignore their health . Glad you wrote about women health in your story.
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Yes Aesha and that can be so dangerous
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It’s a very important topic we seldom take seriously! I wanted to address it!
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Women take their health for granted and are perpetually busy looking after others. Little do they realise that an empty glass cannot pour water. Great post Akshata..
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An honest portrait of what happens in many Indian homes. Even women who work are often burdened with all the housework.
It’s important for women to take carw of themselves.
https://lonelycanopyblog.wordpress.com/2018/04/20/salam-singh-ki-haveli-a-house-of-luxury-and-decadance/
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Very true! Every woman needs to take her health seriously
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I read that para twice where the kids are admitting their mistake. Yes, it is time now we should not take our parents for granted.
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True Anami, and above all we must not take our health lightly. You being the fitness expert will know this best!
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Haha.. I am not a fitness expert Aks. It is just that I love to do exercises and sharing the same with others. That’s it.
And yes we often neglect our self while taking care of our families. We should not do that.
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