Marriage Mystique #AtoZChallenge #BlogchatterA2Z

Posted in Aks Corner, AToZ Challenge 2018, family, Love & Relationships, Sexism, The Couple

I am 27- in a dream job, making a lot of money, independent, have good friends and a loving family. I have it all except that I haven’t settled down. If you are shaking your head in disbelief and wondering in what way am I unsettled – well its my “single status”.

In India , we have a concept of “arranged marriages” where one scouts for a life partner through matrimonial sites, friends, relatives or well wishers.

Dad’s good friend is into the business of matchmaking. He takes a look at my bio data and frowns.

“You are making too much money for your age, It will not be easy to find a guy who earns more than you,” he complains.

I cant believe what I just heard.

The thing I toiled super hard for over the years and my accomplishments that make me proud – this guy is talking about that being an impediment in finding a match.

“Well I am not hell bent on finding a guy who earns as much as me, that won’t be an issue”, I say.

What he next says shocks me . “It isn’t about you Myra, its about the boy and his family. Ego issue. People usually don’t prefer women who earn more.”

“We don’t want such narrow minded people Shyam “- that was Dad, who said it without batting an eyelid.

Dad my hero- I wonder why they don’t make such guys anymore.

My dusky skin tone seems to be another issue, I refuse to pay heed to the well meaning aunties who ask me to apply some fairness cream. There is no need for me to camouflage   anything. If someone loves me, they need to accept me the way I am.

Meeting prospective grooms is quite a hilarious story- as its not just about the groom but their family as well. Though we meet at restaurants for coffee , the family does come along or insist on another meeting as their views matter too- sometimes more than the boy.

It really amazes me to see many people who are in a hurry to take a decision and try to coerce me to make up my mind soon- when I took 30 days to zero in on a new car, how can I decide about a life partner in 30 minutes?

Linking up with #BlogchatterA2ZChallenge -Letter M

My theme for the challenge is

“A slice of life through Myra’s eyes” – a fictional tale of growing up and learning some vital lessons about self love, feminism, sisterhood, a working woman and the essence of being a woman in urban India.   

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Image courtesy-iloverelationship.com

Published by Akshata Ram

Chartered Accountant, Story Teller, Dreamer, Voracious Reader, Blogger, Mommy to a little munchkin, Shopaholic, Day Dreamer.Passionate about my career in the corporate world and aspire to break the glass ceiling, at the same time nurture my passion for writing. My niche area is short stories, I also write on parenting, sexism, life's experiences, micro blogs and flash fiction. I have won the best Parenting blog post at mycity4kids.com the largest parenting website in India, 4 times and several of my posts have been published in the #MostPopular category on this site garnering millions of views. I also write on Bonobology, Rivo Kids, Women's Web and Youth Ki Awaaz. My blog has been chosen as the Top Indian Blogs for the years 2018-2019,2020 by TopIndianBlogs website and found a place in the prestigious Top 22 Indian Literary Blogs in 2020 @TopIndianBlogs.

43 thoughts on “Marriage Mystique #AtoZChallenge #BlogchatterA2Z”

  2. Its my 10th wedding anniversary today and Aesha and you both wrote about marriage and I did not 😉 Well marriage is not a health condition, I suppose, but it seems like all the stress society put on a woman to `get settled’, she might well develop some health condition getting through all this pestering and matchmaking. Glad that Myra has supportive parents to guard her from the over eager `well wishers`.

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  3. Myra is very much a girl of today. These fairness creams, seriously whats wrong with good dusky skin. I liked the way she has put how she can decide on a life partner in a matter of 30 mins. Waiting for the next installment akshata.

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  5. Marriage isn’t the requirement of love but male ego. It’s the desire of a male to retain what he earns after his death through HIS bloodlines resulted in the institution of marriage. It’s his wish to live after his death through HIS SURNAME that laid the foundation stone of marriage.

    Marriage is always seen from the point of economics & as a strategic tool to gain allegiances. It helped in building strong alliances between kingdoms in ancient times. Nothing has changed in this regard since then. Kingdoms have been changed with Corporate Empires. Kings Surnames have been replaced by Families Surnames. The mentality is still the same though a divine angle is added to minimize the risk of betrayal.

    I appreciate Mr. Shyam for he has the decency to accept the existence of ‘Male Ego.’ I also like Myra’s attitude that financial status of her partner doesn’t matter to her. Hope it’s coming from a kind heart not some subtle ego.

    It’s indeed strange that people take ample time for making small decisions of their life and always in hurry for marriage decisions!

    I don’t think dusky skin tone could be a problem these days, as Lara Dutta, former Miss Universe, and Priyanka Chopra, former Miss World, are also dusky.

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    1. Indeed its being practical and thinking about equality- it shouldn’t matter who earns more? Money shouldn’t come in between. The bias against dark skin tone is seeing a change with many dusky actresses coming forward and taking about why “Being unfair is being beautiful” but the mindset of the masses has to yet undergone a change. Hope that will come with time

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  6. Had a tongue in cheek when you compared the time taken to choose the car and the time taken to decide the life partner! Match making, meeting and greeting to decide on the future partner is such a puzzling way to go about fixing the partner for life that we Indians have. But on the second thought, do we have any other better suitable alternative except the love marriage route?
    Hope Myra finds the suitable match soon…

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    1. True Anagha infant I had an arranged marriage too and I dont think there is anything wrong with using this medium to find a partner, just that people should be given enough time to decide with minimal interference by family

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  7. Myra amazes me. I Loved the comparison to car.. Well, TBH, I took my decision to marry the man of my dreams in 30min and I was adamant to marry him. It depends as I said its love is in the air. I love this confident Myra. M is for Marriage vows:)

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  9. “30 days to select a car and 30 mins to select a life partner…”

    Perfecto!!!!! Hahahah!

    This kinda happens in all arranged marriages, doesn’t it? In my case, we were told to get engaged quickly..and then when I said that we didn’t want to get married in the March heat but would rather get married six months later in October, we were pressurized a lot..

    Thankfully, we had our way! :p

    Cheers,
    CRD

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  11. Marriage is not simply a status to be ticked on the check box. It has to be for the right reasons and when both are ready. Myra has family support and she should take her time to decide.. even if it is longer that it took to choose her car!!

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  12. The optimist in me would like to believe that it was an erronous assumption from the matchmaker. I would like to believe that such people dont exist. But then again I would also like to believe that skin color didnt matter to people. It is a rough place out there.

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  15. One should only marry if he/she is sure. It is a commitment for lifetime. So, why should we settle for anyone lesser or strike a compromise. Good that Myra has a sensible dad who has her back. Good one Akshata!

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  16. I well remember our conversations way back when we both decided to get hitched! Some of the conversations here takes me back! Great post as always and looking forward to reading more about Myra.

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  19. When the entire world, starting from uncle and aunties you never knew till date to all the sharma ji, take it as their only mission to get you married else the sky will fall down. And, yes it’s hilarious and the views. Enjoyed reading this one!

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