I am a big girl out in the big bad world #AtoZChallenge #BlogchatterA2Z

Posted in Aks Corner, AToZ Challenge 2018, Gender Equality, Self Love, Sexism

The boards are over- what a sigh of relief.

But now begins the real battle to get into a good college.

As I look at my name on the Merit List, a sense of pride envelops me. I look back at the years of hard work and disciplined approach that I followed and loved doing. I look at the crestfallen faces of some classmates- a few who studied hard but din’t get the grades they were hoping for and a few who were probably hoping for some magic. But there is no magic mantra here, is there?

“You got 90% , you are surely taking up science and becoming a doctor.”

I squirmed.

I wasn’t interested in becoming a doctor, not one bit.

I decided to take up commerce or arts. But definitely not science. I applied to the best of colleges for both the streams and decided to watch my luck.

Sammy my class mate applied for arts, he wanted to be a journalist. I envied him as he was so clear about his future path and here I was still struggling to find out what I wanted to do. I overheard a few people laugh at him “A boy taking arts, what next? Home science so that he can manage the house like a dutiful house husband? ” I was infuriated.

Seema who scored 80% wanted to become a doctor but her parents coerced her into taking up commerce. Become a graduate and then you have to get married anyway. We can’t afford to let you study so much.

I was left with confused feelings. Why were we confined to boxes? We were almost on the verge of adulthood and people still dictated what career path we are supposed to choose. There were different rules for girls and boys, for the 90 percentilers and 50 percentilers.

This world wasn’t such a good a good place. Being a girl girl dint feel so good anymore.

Image courtesy: blog.instahyre.com

Linking up with #BlogchatterA2Z

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My theme for the challenge is

“A slice of life through Myra’s eyes” – a fictional tale of growing up and learning some vital lessons about self love, feminism, sisterhood, a working woman and the essence of being a woman in urban India.  

Published by Akshata Ram

Chartered Accountant, Story Teller, Dreamer, Voracious Reader, Blogger, Mommy to a little munchkin, Shopaholic, Day Dreamer.Passionate about my career in the corporate world and aspire to break the glass ceiling, at the same time nurture my passion for writing. My niche area is short stories, I also write on parenting, sexism, life's experiences, micro blogs and flash fiction. I have won the best Parenting blog post at mycity4kids.com the largest parenting website in India, 4 times and several of my posts have been published in the #MostPopular category on this site garnering millions of views. I also write on Bonobology, Rivo Kids, Women's Web and Youth Ki Awaaz. My blog has been chosen as the Top Indian Blogs for the years 2018-2019,2020 by TopIndianBlogs website and found a place in the prestigious Top 22 Indian Literary Blogs in 2020 @TopIndianBlogs.

50 thoughts on “I am a big girl out in the big bad world #AtoZChallenge #BlogchatterA2Z”

  2. Good one Akshata. True, we are put into boxes. I remember when after after getting good grades in tenth, I opted for humanities people were shocked as it was thought that those with dismal grades opt for humanities.

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  4. Great story Akshata. You know, it is not just girls who are put into boxes. My daughter’s topper classmate in 10th opted for Arts because he wanted to get into law (He did), but his choice was scoffed at.

    This “putting into boxes” happens all the time. Esp for ladies who want a career and a home. You are judged no matter what. If your kids do well, if they don’t, if your house is messy, if its not, if you have a cook, if you don’t…… You can never win!

    I would say: Do what your heart says and ignore the world.

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  5. This post raises quite a few pertinent questions.. We are indeed confined to various boxes. As the saying goes “man is born free but everywhere he is in chains”. Good to know about your life through the eyes of Myra.

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  6. This brings back so many memories. After 10th, in an ideal world, I would have taken up Arts, and gone on to make a career in English or History. Unfortunately, there was/is no concept of a career in English or History, unless you want to become a teacher. Plus, Boys don’t study arts, you know. So had to take up Science, and struggled through two years of sheer torture.

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  7. This elitism and awe for those option for Science needs to stop. Just because one takes up Arts does not mean they are not intelligent enough. I took up Science only because for me it was the most natural thing to do. But because I didn’t do well, I was ridiculed and asked to switch to Arts. I didn’t, of course. Never pursued Science later but that was because I had scored so poorly. This was a much needed eye-opener for a lot of people.

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  8. In good old US and other countries, you at least have an option to change your study course if you don’t like it mid way. Unfortunately no such luck here.

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  9. Even today the Indian diaspora is blinded by the gender prejudice and marks mania. Whats wrong if the boy decides to do arts and a girl wishing for an active combat role in army, I wonder. Sometimes its not parents but the peer-pressure that influence’s the choice of stream by the young mind.
    Parents have a vital role to play here.

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  10. The parameters that define one’s career choices are very well drawn out in this story….. What really determines your career ? Marks? Personal preference? Gender? Parents’ Dreams? It’s difficult isn’t it? Whether you are a boy or girl. Often I feel that a career choice is made by the Hand Above

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  12. Hey, did I narrate my story to you before? Because this is so me. Glad you wrote about this problem, Akshata and so beautifully too. I remember once the X board results were out, it was a chaos. My parents wanted me to take up science, while I was not so sure. I finally opted for commerce, because Arts is not something you take if you score good percentage. No sooner did I finish my graduation, I realized I should have opted for Arts!! 😦

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  14. Great story Akshata. It’s really annoying how everyone and their great grandpa want to have a say in what a teenage girl does with her life.

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  15. True that! Only if it was vice versa, this world would have been a better place. My dad had different dreams for me but he let me pursue what my heart wished and it really meant a lot. Wish all dads be like him.

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  16. Interesting take. I feel for Myra, but the grass is not that green on the other side. I wanted to apply for English literature and then do a film-making course after school, but hey, a guy with 85+% shouldn’t be thinking of dead end courses is what the unanimous verdict handed down to me by almost everyone. We live in a country where each and every choice we make is not only for ourselves but our families too. Guys and girls have their own set of unique problems. Hopefully, we can rally together and let our sons and daughters chase their dreams.

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  17. Interesting post Akshata, I had a tough time with my Dad who wanted me to take Science to peruse medicine of sorts, But I was adamant on commerce, which was then considered as boys core as they have to manage business in future. Well I fought tooth and nail with Dad and filled commerce form.

    When destiny and my passion proved fruitful after many years, he was indeed proud of my choice. But yes, many do not get to fulfill their wishes and burdened by choices made by others.

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  18. Everyone asks one to think outside the box but there’s no box.
    Everything is just a lie, a lie that forces us to satisfy our taste.
    A lot to learn from the above story, quite impressive and well portrayed.

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  19. This is the sad reality and its still the same after so many years. Although there is a slight change in the mentality, doctor or engineer is still given preference. Hope Myra decides soon.

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      1. I am not but I am having a lovely time enjoying some good fiction and poetry, this year.
        Wishing you all the very best for the rest of the challenge.🙂

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  22. It isn’t that easy, is it? To follow your heart, your passion and dreams. So true. So many boxes people are confined in. Reading up to see where Myra heads and what she chases. The life events are beautifully being written like usual bringing out an important message!

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  23. I remember these feelings so vividly. I took up science because I liked it, but in reality I never got a chance to study arts or commerce so how could have I known after boards that I will like it or not. And there was not an option to change subjects without wasting an year of education. We need more flexibility in our education system.

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