I fell head over heels in love with Raj when I was 13. Life seemed like a fairytale. He was the new boy in our class – what I loved the most were his dimples. When he threw up his head and laughed, those dimples looked so gorgeous. I was tempted to go and touch them.
As I got to know Raj better, my attraction towards him kept spiralling. Initially it was just a physical attraction as Mom had told me “raging hormones in adolescence”. But slowly I started falling in love with Raj as an individual. His sense of humour, compassion, his intelligence, his thoughts.
I was always told that its the guy who should propose first, never quite got that. Whats the harm if I tell him that I like him?
Sheena my girlfriend told me “have you ever seen any girl proposing Shah Rukh Khan? Or any Princess in any of the stories we read asking the Prince for his hand in marriage. Its a guys thing, not ours”.
I was in a conflicting situation – I wanted to express my feelings but Sheena’s words held me back.
Thats when I saw a text from Raj -He wanted to talk something with me . My heart almost stopped beating for a minute. I changed 5 times before I finally put on my favourite black dress and met him at CCD.
He held my hand, I could almost hear my heart beating. I was perspiring despite the air cooler.
“Myra you are special, I am so glad to have met you. I haven’t shared this with anyone, not a single soul but I want to confess to you. I somehow felt you will be the one who will understand me and not judge me. I want to come out in the open. I am gay”
My mouth was wide open like a fish. I couldn’t comprehend what I just heard. Was this a nightmare?
He was looking into my eyes, holding my hand. I was waiting for him to flash out a ring or something and he tells me his is gay.
I don’t know how I regained my composure, he talked for an hour. Tears welled up in his eyes and he spoke about hiding such an integral part of his identity from everyone.
We hugged as we parted ways. I came home and cried for a love that was never mine.
We met after summer holidays again. I had decided to keep in minimal contact to save myself any heartache. But when I looked at him I realised I did not want to lose a friend, he was far too precious. He needed me too.
This was the beginning of a new bond which lasted till eternity.
Linking up with #BlogchatterA2Z
My theme for the challenge is
“A slice of life through Myra’s eyes” – a fictional tale of growing up and learning some vital lessons about self love, feminism, sisterhood, a working woman and the essence of being a woman in urban India.
Image source-frimousse67
You have expressed the confession of being a gay in a beautiful way.. But my heart aches for Myra.. Hope she find her love.. h is for hormonal rage Hakuna Matata. https://syncwithdeep.wordpress.com/2018/04/09/h-hormonal-rage-to-hakuna-matata-blogchattera2z-atozchallenge-atoz/
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Thats quite an intriguing topic Deep will visit soon. Time will tell if Myra finds her love or finds answers to new questions about herself 🙂
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Love story Akshata and I think the best one so far. Beautiful twist and I like the double H reference. few words subtly driving strong emotions makes for the best of stories.
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Thx a ton Kanika! I was a bit hesitant thinking if this will sound cliched
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You’ve done it again! Every story seems better than the last one. The twist made the sadist in me laugh out loud in the metro :P. My heart aches for Myra and Raj. One had to keep her feelings hidden and the other had to keep his own identity hidden from the society. Between them, they might not have found love, but they found something much more deeper and meaningful.
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Thx so much Arjun, thats a great compliment for a Monday. I loved how beautifully you summarised this!
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I loved the twist in the tale. In my life, I have felt similar situations. I am also writing about one of them in this series. I am loving how Myra’s life is unfolding. P.S there is a small typo instead of at you wrote ad. I just saw so edit it. Love and hugs.
https://trinalooksback.com/2018/04/09/halum-jhulum-the-tale-of-two-brothers/
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Thx Balaka for pointing that out, will fix it! And look forward to read about this memoir you mentioned.
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Awwe, that’s such a bittersweet tale Akshata.
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Everything the ends well is always well. And what better thing to have a great friend by side!
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Indeed Anagha the best thing I would say, sometimes better than having a BF
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Awesome twist to the tale. Friendship is more important than anything . If they can be friends forever then gay or not shouldn’t matter!
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True Sudha! Even I feel friends are indeed a treasure! Thanks for stopping by
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Myra dealt with this in such a good way. Although losing out on love, she found a deeper bond with him. Lovely. Now just have to hope Myra can find the one for her!
https://iainkellywriting.com/2018/04/09/h-is-for-den-haag-the-hague-netherlands/
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Thx Ian yes she did deal with it very maturely
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It’s good that she decided to be for him as a friend. Otherwise, he’d have been very lonely with a secret he’ll be sure not to reveal willingly after this incident. Very nicely written, Akshata.
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Thx Varad. It’s not easy to find a good friend! I am happy they both found each other as friends!
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Great twist in the end Akshata. But, good that she realised that they could be friends. Looking forward to what comes next in Myra’s life!
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Yea friendship is indeed a special bond. Thx for visiting Meha
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Oh, that was an unexpected twist at the end. Hope Myra was fine after the heartbreak. Waiting to read next one.
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Maybe, maybe not! Thx for stopping by Deepa!
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I’m glad Myra could overcome her desires and become a friend to Raj!
My blogs in the A to Z: Self discovery via travel and a separate Interactive story.
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Thanks Andi- will hop over to yours soon- that interactive story seems fun!
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Thank you, I was a little behind with posting today.
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Life goes on. Glad Myra got to learn and then moved on… Acceptance is the key.
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Very true Anita, its often the difficult part but one that gives peace. Thx for visiting!
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you have beautifully expressed the bond of friendship.
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Thx so much Aesha for visiting
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That was unexpected but still sweet in its own way 🙂 Catching up from where I left 🙂
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Thx for stopping by and reading all the posts Shweta
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Aww, that’s how friends are!
But sad to know her first crush is not what she expected.
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True but she recovered! We all do!!
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The starting gave me the feel of common romantic story , but you nailed it with the twist.
Enjoyed reading it.
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Thx so much
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