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I was 12 years old when I first watched the popular shows “I dream of Jeanie” and “Bewitched” where the protagonist had magical powers. They just had to wish for something, tap their fingers and lo behold! They would get what they wished for. I was fascinated and wondered what if I were to get a magic wand. My wish at that point on the cusp of teenage would be to make myself more beautiful physically. A dusky, lean girl who wore specs and an age where people were constantly judging me for my looks. I felt insecure and wished I was fairer like some of my friends. A typical way of complimenting my big eyes would go like “You have such big and expressive eyes alas the beauty is hidden behind glasses”. Made me wish I could throw them off.

That was a conscious, immature, naïve 12 year old.

If I could lay my hands on the magic wand as a 20 year old, would my wishes have changed drastically? I would still want to be a shade or two lighter, and living without the glasses would be nice. I would have liked to have a boyfriend with whom I could go for a ride, the two of us on his bike, isn’t life all about love and seeing the world through rose tinted glasses.

As a 27 year old I had seen quite a lot in life and it had changed my perspective. I was no longer ashamed or felt low about being dusky, I was proud of who I was. My skin shade did not make me any lesser than others. My specs too had become a part of my identity, I never wished to throw them off. A magic wand at that point would mean wishing to meet my life partner. I had many male friends but no special feelings towards anyone of them. Many of my friends were getting hitched and knowing the amount of pressure on an Indian girl to tie the knot before time runs out, I was facing pressure from all nooks and corners. The typical arranged marriage scene where you are expected to meet, greet and marry was making me squirm. That’s when I wished I would have met my special someone just by chance as a friend or colleague and could have spent time getting to know him which would have then meant its easier taking the plunge.

As a 32 year old, I feel the biggest transformation in my life has happened after I became a mum and a writer. The mum in me gave birth to the writer. Do I need a magic wand I ask myself? All my wishes in the past seem redundant now- I love myself more than ever. I take care to dress up well, try and get some exercise (though this one needs to be worked upon!), indulge in things I love and am kind to myself. I absolutely love my sophisticated look with glasses. The contacts- I threw them off after my wedding as they just made me feel like an alien. I love my job and am working hard to get a notch higher. A loving family who stands by me and supports me unflinchingly , a lovely daughter whom I dote on , an excellent group pf friends many of whom I met online after I started writing and my hobby of blogging which keeps me occupied and eggs me on- do I need more? I could still wish for a bit more time on my hands, wish that I write a novel and become a bestselling author, get that promotion at work, buy that Louis Vuitton bag that I always fancy, spend more time on running so that I can cut down a few kilos. There is always more to wish for.

But I would stop there, put the wand back and let life take its course. I will get there someday, step by step, gradually – owning that designer handbag to shedding a few kilos, getting promoted and writing my book as well. Though it seems far fetched but it’s not impossible and I would rather savor the journey to get there, face the trials and tribulations and reach the peak which will make it more special.  The wand would give me a temporary exhilarating high but after a few days I would wish for something more. The law of diminishing marginal utility which reduces the value of a thing or experience as time passes. You derive lesser and lesser happiness out of it. So the magic wand would never really be able to make me happily ever after. As I would always want more and more. Which I would want anyway even without the wand. But the pleasure of going after what I truly desire and attaining it would make the experience last longer. So I pack off the wand now, neatly wrap it and throw it into the sea hoping that someone who truly needs it, finds it.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

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